Writing Test Samples: Grade 4 : Narrative Writing ,Informative Writing , Persuasive Writing



Writing Test Samples  Grade 4
Narrative Writing (2)
Informative Writing (2)
Persuasive Writing (2)







Envelope [1]

Letter
Envelope



  1. IMAGINE!
    One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
    This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

    …when you look out the window, this is what you see.

    Image of stars falling from the sky.

    Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Tells a well-developed story with relevant descriptive details across the response.
  • Events are well connected and tie the story together with transitions across the response.
  • Sustains varied sentence structure and exhibits specific word choices.
  • Exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Tells a clear story with some development, including some relevant descriptive details.
  • Events are connected in much of the response; may lack some transitions.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and exhibits some specific word choices.
  • Generally exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics are minor and do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Tells a clear story with little development; has few details.
  • Events are generally related; may contain brief digressions or inconsistencies.
  • Generally has simple sentences and simple word choice; may exhibit uneven control over sentence boundaries.
  • Has sentences that consist mostly of complete, clear, distinct thoughts; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics generally do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts to tell a story but tells only part of a story, gives a plan for a story, or is list-like.
  • Lacks a clear progression of events; elements may not fit together or be in sequence.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and may have some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts a response, but is no more than a fragment or the beginning of a story OR is very repetitive.
  • Very disorganized or too brief to detect organization.
  • Exhibits little control over sentence boundaries and sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate in much of the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics are severe enough to make understanding very difficult in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts a response, but may only paraphrase the prompt or be extremely brief.
  • Exhibits no control over organization.
  • Exhibits no control over sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate across the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
IMAGINE!
One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

…when you look out the window, this is what you see.

Image of stars falling from the sky.

Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scorer Comments:

“Excellent” responses developed ideas with relevant details throughout the story and exhibited variety in sentence structure. In the response shown here, transitions guide the reader through the plot, and there are some very nice specific word choices, such as “sharp edges” and “almost unthinkable.”

Skillful – Student Response
IMAGINE!
One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

…when you look out the window, this is what you see.

Image of stars falling from the sky.

Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scorer Comments:

In “Skillful” responses, students used details to develop their stories in parts of the response. They provided a clear structure to their stories, though with an occasional lack of transitions, as shown in the sample response.

Sufficient – Student Response
IMAGINE!
One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

…when you look out the window, this is what you see.

Image of stars falling from the sky.

Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scorer Comments:

“Sufficient” responses told clear stories that lacked development, used simple words and sentence structure, and exhibited occasional errors in sentence structure. While the sample response below exhibits control over sentences, and the events in the story are generally related, there is little or no development of any given event.

Uneven – Student Response
IMAGINE!
One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

…when you look out the window, this is what you see.

Image of stars falling from the sky.

Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scorer Comments:

“Uneven” responses often consisted of undeveloped lists of things the narrators of the stories saw in the stimulus pictures. The response below also exhibits typical “Uneven” response difficulties with sentence boundaries, grammar, and spelling that at times interfere with the attempt to tell the story.

Insufficient – Student Response
IMAGINE!
One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

…when you look out the window, this is what you see.

Image of stars falling from the sky.

Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scorer Comments:

“Insufficient” responses attempted a response, but provided only a fragment or beginning of a story. Some “Insufficient” responses were very disorganized, while others were difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. The response below offers a few pieces of fragmentary information and consists of run-on sentences.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
IMAGINE!
One morning you wake up and go down to breakfast.
This is what you see on the table.Plate with clouds and coffee cup filled with a rainbow. You are surprised. Then…

…when you look out the window, this is what you see.

Image of stars falling from the sky.

Write a story called “The Very Unusual Day” about what happens until you go to bed again.

Scorer Comments:

“Unsatisfactory” responses attempted a response, but were very brief, demonstrated no control over sentences, or contained so many errors in grammar and spelling that understanding was severely impeded throughout the response. The response below refers to the prompt but is extremely brief.



  1. Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Develops ideas well and uses specific, relevant details across the response.
  • Well organized with clear transitions.
  • Sustains varied sentence structure and exhibits specific word choices.
  • Exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Develops ideas with some specific, relevant details.
  • Clearly organized; information is presented in an orderly way but response may lack transitions.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and exhibits some specific word choices.
  • Generally exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Clear but sparsely developed; may have few details.
  • Provides a clear sequence of information; provides pieces of information that are generally related to each other.
  • Generally has simple sentences and simple word choice; may exhibit uneven control over sentence boundaries.
  • Has sentences that consist mostly of complete, clear, distinct thoughts; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics generally do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Provides limited or incomplete information; may be list-like or have the quality of an outline.
  • Disorganized or provides a disjointed sequence of information.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and may have some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Provides little information and makes little attempt at development.
  • Very disorganized or too brief to detect organization.
  • Exhibits little control over sentence boundaries and sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate in much of the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics are severe enough to make understanding very difficult in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts a response, but may only paraphrase the prompt or be extremely brief.
  • Exhibits no control over organization.
  • Exhibits no control over sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate across the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scorer Comments:

“Excellent” responses provided very clear and well-developed descriptions of lunchtime. The response shown here presents an extensive description of lunch with well-chosen details and clear transitions across the response. Word choices are effective and sentence structure is varied.

Skillful – Student Response
Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scorer Comments:

“Skillful” responses often provided clearly organized sequences of actions about lunchtime. The response below does this with some nicely chosen specific details, such as the reference to the lunch moms wiping off the tables. There is some sentence variety as well. However, the response lacks the development of an “Excellent” response.

Sufficient – Student Response
Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scorer Comments:

“Sufficient” responses were clear but lacked detail and sentence variety. The response below provides a clear sequence of generally related information conveyed with simple sentences and word choices.

Uneven – Student Response
Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scorer Comments:

“Uneven” responses provided incomplete and occasionally repetitive information. They also exhibited problems with run-on sentences, as in the response shown below.

Insufficient – Student Response
Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scorer Comments:

“Insufficient” responses attempted a response, but provided only a fragment or beginning of a response. Some “Insufficient” responses were very disorganized, while others were difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. This response exhibits little control over sentence boundaries.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
Describe what lunchtime is like for you on a school day. Be sure to tell about your lunchtime so that someone who has never had lunch with you on a school day can understand where you have lunch and what lunchtime is like.

Scorer Comments:

“Unsatisfactory” responses attempted a response, but were very brief, demonstrated no control over sentences, or contained so many errors in grammar and spelling that understanding was severely impeded throughout the response. The response shown here offers a single sentence about lunchtime.



  1. Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Takes a clear position and develops support with well-chosen details, reasons, or examples across the response.
  • Well organized; maintains focus.
  • Sustains varied sentence structure and exhibits specific word choices.
  • Exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Takes a clear position and develops support with some specific details, reasons, or examples.
  • Provides some organization of ideas by, for example, using contrast or building to a point.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and exhibits some specific word choices.
  • Generally exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Takes a clear position with support that is clear and generally related to the issue.
  • Generally organized.
  • Generally has simple sentences and simple word choice; may exhibit uneven control over sentence boundaries.
  • Has sentences that consist mostly of complete, clear, distinct thoughts; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics generally do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Takes a position and offers limited or incomplete support; some reasons may not be clear or related to the issue.
  • Disorganized or provides a disjointed sequence of information.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and may have some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Takes a position, but provides only minimal support (generalizations or a specific reason or example); OR attempts to take a position but the position is unclear.
  • Very disorganized or too brief to detect organization.
  • May exhibit little control over sentence boundaries and sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate in much of the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order. Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics may be severe enough to make understanding very difficult in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Takes a position but provides no support OR attempts to take a position (is on topic) but position is very unclear; may only paraphrase the prompt.
  • Exhibits no control over organization.
  • Exhibits no control over sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate across the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scorer Comments:

“Excellent” responses consistently developed clear, focused positions with well-chosen reasons and examples. In this response, the variety of sentences and precise word choices (“I am quite sorry for this inconvinience”) increase the strength of the argument.

Skillful – Student Response
Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scorer Comments:

“Skillful” persuasive responses offered reasons to persuade the school librarian to reacquire a chosen book, developed those reasons in parts of the response, and provided some (but did not consistently provide) transitions to connect reasons for the students’ positions. This response exhibits these features, and also makes a direct address to the intended audience: “Think of the happiness you will bring to the kids…”

Sufficient – Student Response
Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scorer Comments:

“Sufficient” responses took clear positions and provided clear, though somewhat undeveloped, support. Sentences and word choices were usually simple, and there were occasional errors in sentence structure. The response below attempts to appeal to the reader, but the argument is somewhat undeveloped and the response exhibits some trouble with sentence control.

Uneven – Student Response
Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scorer Comments:

“Uneven” responses took clear positions, but lacked either development or control over sentence structure, or sometimes both. The answer shown below takes a clear persuasive position in response to the prompt, but it offers limited support and is somewhat repetitive.

Insufficient – Student Response
Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scorer Comments:

“Insufficient” responses attempted an answer, but provided only a fragment or beginning of a response. Some “Insufficient” responses were very disorganized, while others were difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. The response below offers minimal support for its stated position (e.g., “…because it is a very funny book and it has mystereys in it.”).

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
Imagine this situation: Your favorite book is missing from your school library. It might be a book that you like to read over and over again. Or it might be a book that your teacher or parent has read to you. Some of your friends also like to read this book. The school librarian is not sure she wants to buy the book again. Write a letter to convince your school librarian to buy the book again. In your letter, give lots of reasons why the book should be in your school library.

Scorer Comments:

“Unsatisfactory” responses attempted an answer, but were very brief, demonstrated no control over sentences, or contained so many errors in grammar and spelling that understanding was severely impeded throughout the response. The response below does no more than request that the librarian replace the author’s book.



  1. One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

    Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Tells a well-developed story with relevant descriptive details across the response.
  • Events are well connected and tie the story together with transitions across the response.
  • Sustains varied sentence structure and exhibits specific word choices.
  • Exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Tells a clear story with some development, including some relevant descriptive details.
  • Events are connected in much of the response; may lack some transitions.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and exhibits some specific word choices.
  • Generally exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Tells a clear story with little development; has few details.
  • Events are generally related; may contain brief digressions or inconsistencies.
  • Generally has simple sentences and simple word choice; may exhibit uneven control over sentence boundaries.
  • Has sentences that consist mostly of complete, clear, distinct thoughts; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics generally do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts to tell a story, but tells only part of a story, gives a plan for a story, or is list-like.
  • Lacks a clear progression of events; elements may not fit together or be in sequence.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and may have some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts a response, but is no more than a fragment or the beginning of a story OR is very repetitive.
  • Is very disorganized OR too brief to detect organization.
  • Exhibits little control over sentence boundaries and sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate in much of the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics are severe enough to make understanding very difficult in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts a response but may only paraphrase the prompt or be extremely brief.
  • Exhibits no control over organization.
  • Exhibits no control over sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate across the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

In this paper, rated “Excellent,” the writer uses dialogue effectively, develops characters, and provides a coherent plot. The student shows good control of language for a fourth grader and includes vivid details to illustrate the appearance of the characters — “He was dressed in royalty with a purple cape and a crown of jewels.”

One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This “Excellent” response demonstrates the writer’s clear facility with language and the conventions of storytelling. It begins with a title, and develops a detailed narrative that is enhanced by specific and vivid details; we are told that the “chain wood door…sounded like it needed oil on the hinges.” In almost every way, this story is compelling, illustrative of a genuinely “excellent” response.

Skillful – Student Response
One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Skillful” response, the student develops a detailed plot and characters. Though the ending is concise, the student ties up the plot with the surprise revelation “Then the girl realizes the boy in the picture is her long Lost Brother.” Some of the transitions are rather sudden, and the student provides less description and has less firm control of language than the “excellent” papers. The story, however, is developed with some details and connects events clearly.

One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This “Skillful” response begins rather abruptly, but continues to develop a story with a plot and some thoughtful complications. The writer uses dialogue and details such as a dragon “made of sticks” to enhance the story. The response is a bit more truncated and uneven than papers receiving an “excellent” rating (the king makes a very brief appearance!), but overall it is a nicely developed story that is well organized and detailed.

Sufficient – Student Response
One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Sufficient” response, the student provides a clear but bare plot. He or she includes the vivid details of the colors of the rainbow in the first sentence — “a purple, pink, red, blue, orange and yellow rainbow” — but uses detail sparingly beyond that. The story is clearly developed, despite the lack of a conclusion. The student uses simple, but clear and correct, sentence structure and vocabulary.

One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This “Sufficient” response displays a nice use of dialogue and some interesting development such as the singing that appears to originate in a few locations. It seems to overreach itself in some ways, however; the singing is never fully explained, and the reason that the cook and child bake the cake is also left up in the air. The writer generally has good control over sentence boundaries, although toward the end of the story the sentences become a bit confused and abrupt.

Uneven – Student Response
One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This student includes some very dramatic action: “then he herd something a bat fly and turn in to a vampire.” The action is somewhat repetitive, however, as events are not connected to form a coherent story: “And then the vampire turned in to a bat again. And it goes on on on on on on and on on on again.” The response was rated “Uneven.”

One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This “Uneven” response attempts to develop the story of a hungry young boy in a castle, but is hindered by lack of development and syntactical variety. Sentences such as “He meat a helpless young man” characterize the writing, in which the control of grammar is somewhat weak. There is some attempt at dialogue, but the writer’s uncertainty about grammatical conventions keep this strategy from being fully effective.

Insufficient – Student Response
One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Insufficient” response, the student begins to tell a story, introducing a new character, the “giant,” but does not progress beyond that point. The lack of development led to this response being rated “Insufficient.”

One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This paper begins to tell a dramatic story in the second paragraph. But the relationship to the first paragraph is somewhat unclear, making the response disjointed. More development and better structuring of events would have lifted this paper above the “Insufficient” category.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This one-sentence response, though a possible introduction to a story, does not progress beyond that, and so was rated “Unsatisfactory.” To some extent, the response paraphrases the prompt.

One morning a child looks out the window and discovers that a huge castle has appeared overnight. The child rushes outside to the castle and hears strange sounds coming from it. Someone is living in the castle!The castle door creaks open. The child goes in.

Write a story about who the child meets and what happens inside the castle.

Scorer Comments:

This response provides a little bit of action beyond what was given in the prompt, but does not develop into a story.



  1. We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

    Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Develops ideas well and uses specific, relevant details across the response.
  • Is well organized with clear transitions.
  • Sustains varied sentence structure and exhibits specific word choices.
  • Exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Develops ideas with some specific, relevant details.
  • Is clearly organized; information is presented in an orderly way, but response may lack transitions.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and exhibits some specific word choices.
  • Generally exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Clear but sparsely developed; may have few details.
  • Provides a clear sequence of information; provides pieces of information that are generally related to each other.
  • Generally has simple sentences and simple word choice; may exhibit uneven control over sentence boundaries.
  • Has sentences that consist mostly of complete, clear, distinct thoughts; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics generally do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Provides limited or incomplete information; may be list-like or have the quality of an outline.
  • Is disorganized or provides a disjointed sequence of information.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and may have some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Provides little information and makes little attempt at development.
  • Is very disorganized OR too brief for reader to detect organization.
  • Exhibits little control over sentence boundaries and sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate in much of the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics are severe enough to make understanding very difficult in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Attempts a response, but may only paraphrase the prompt or be extremely brief.
  • Exhibits no control over organization.
  • Exhibits no control over sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate across the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This “Excellent” response is quite accomplished writing for a fourth grader. In it, the student creates suspense, consistently provides details, and develops a story with dialogue and description. The student makes an error in the use of tense several times (“I had saw”), but otherwise the story shows good control of language and exhibits a variety of sentence structure. The student uses imagery to make the story vivid: “I dreamed all night about that pool table. If I had got the pool table I would treat it like a king.”

We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This “Excellent” response abounds with details about the student’s pets. The student includes information about the pets’ names, ages, and habits in an orderly way. Details like” both my dogs act like they are people and think that they can eat people food” help make the characterizations vivid. The student uses a variety of sentence structure and has few errors.

Skillful – Student Response
We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Skillful” response, the student describes in detail how he acquired the silver dollar, and uses description to emphasize the importance of the object: “when I opened the envelope there in a case was a shiny silver doller made of real silver.” The student artfully incorporates a letter to emphasize how important the object was to him. The plot is not as detailed or elaborated as in the “excellent” responses, nor is there the same variety of sentence structure and consistent use of descriptive language.

We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This “Skillful” response does not have as good control of language as the “excellent” responses, but makes very clear why the object — the “white teddy bear” — is important to the student: “I love that teddy bear with all my heart.” The essay concludes with a story in which the student just manages to save the white teddy bear from being stepped on. The student creates suspense and dramatic action: “I jumed over all that junck and reached for my teddy bear I got their just in time.”

Sufficient – Student Response
We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This response was rated “Sufficient” because it is organized around the subject of “trophies.” It has brief digressions (“once I got second place in the toughest tournement in the world. In Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’m going there today”) but otherwise stays focused on the trophies and how the student won them. These are good objects to select because each evokes the moment when it was won. The student tends to jump a bit from trophy to trophy, and there are some errors, but on the whole the meaning is clear.

We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This response, rated “Sufficient,” provides information in a generally organized way. It gives some reasons why the object is so special to the writer: “bicause I got it from my Grandma & Nanny. And they live in Florda.” There are some problems in spelling and sentence boundaries, but they do not interfere with the reader’s ability to understand the essay.

Uneven – Student Response
We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Uneven” response, the student clearly identifies the favorite object (“my giga pet…my baby T-Rex”). In this response, the student provides some information about the things that can be done with the giga pet: “It goes to the vet and get a shot.” The problems with spelling and grammar, however, frequently make this response somewhat hard to understand: “It can walk back and froth. It play. It eats snashed popates.” The order of the sentences in the second part of the essay is somewhat unclear, and the essay is somewhat undeveloped.

We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This “Uneven” response provides fairly extensive details about the student’s favorite object, “my dog name is max he is black rockwaller.” The student provides information about how the dog behaves, with a warning: “he is playfull if you know him if you don’t do not go near bark, growl, run you over, he will bite you, and he will bite on your shirt.” Some run-on sentences like the one above, as well as some problems with grammar, make parts of the essay somewhat difficult to understand.

Insufficient – Student Response
We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Insufficient”response, the student identifies a favorite object, “my pog card.” Most of the response is difficult to understand because of the spelling and run-on sentences. The student provides some information about Nolan Ryan and Jeff Gordon, but in a rather disorganized fashion.

We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This “Insufficient” response is very brief but does convey some information: “I got a doll house for christmas and it is spechel to me because the roof can come of….” But the response is a single run-on sentence, so was rated “Insufficient” for its lack of development and problems with language control.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

This response was rated “Unsatisfactory.” The student identifies a favorite object (in this case an activity, the game of football). But the response is very undeveloped (a single run-on sentence) and the problems in the use of language make it hard to understand.

We all have favorite objects that we care about and would not want to give up.Think of one object that is important or valuable to you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of clothing, a game, or any object you care about.

Write about your favorite object. Be sure to describe the object and explain why it is valuable or important to you.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Unsatisfactory” response, the student provides some information about a favorite object but doesn’t name it: “You can keep them for a favrit thing to keep put up so no one takes it from you.” The response is very undeveloped and repetitive.



Question 6 refers to Envelope [1]
  1. Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

    On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Takes a clear position and develops support with well-chosen details, reasons, or examples across the response.
  • Is well organized; maintains focus.
  • Sustains varied sentence structure and exhibits specific word choices.
  • Exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Takes a clear position and develops support with some specific details, reasons, or examples.
  • Provides some organization of ideas by, for example, using contrast or building to a point.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and exhibits some specific word choices.
  • Generally exhibits control over sentence boundaries; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Takes a clear position with support that is clear and generally related to the issue.
  • Is generally organized.
  • Generally has simple sentences and simple word choice; may exhibit uneven control over sentence boundaries.
  • Has sentences that consist mostly of complete, clear, distinct thoughts; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics generally do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Takes a position and offers limited or incomplete support; some reasons may not be clear or related to the issue.
  • Is disorganized OR provides a disjointed sequence of information.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and may have some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Takes a position, but provides only minimal support (generalizations or a specific reason or example); OR attempts to take a position but the position is unclear.
  • Is very disorganized or too brief to detect organization.
  • May exhibit little control over sentence boundaries and sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate in much of the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics may be severe enough to make understanding very difficult in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Takes a position but provides no support, OR attempts to take a position (is on topic) but the position is very unclear; may only paraphrase the prompt.
  • Exhibits no control over organization.
  • Exhibits no control over sentence formation; word choice is inaccurate across the response.
  • Characterized by misspellings, missing words, incorrect word order; errors in grammar, spelling, and mechanics severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

This “Excellent” response shows consistent use of reasons to support an argument. The student exhibits good control of sentence structure. The student structures the response by weaving together answers to the questions in the prompt around the theme of friendship, “the greatest gift in the world.”

Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

The varied sentences in this “Excellent” response are truly impressive for the fourth-grade level; the student uses rhetorical questions, colons, and transitions with skill. Statements such as “If you like living in my imagination, you’d love living in the real world” demonstrate the writer’s persuasiveness, clarity, and logic. The writer makes smooth transitions from addressing the fears of the imaginary friend through providing a list of activities available to visible people to mentioning the final enticement of using computers. This is a persuasive, impressive, and ultimately convincing response.

Skillful – Student Response
Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

The “Skillful” response shown has very clear sentence structure and good control of grammar. The writer provides several reasons why the invisible friend should become visible and sums up the argument with “Now you can make up your mind if you want to become visible.” The reasons here are not as detailed or as carefully ordered as in the “Excellent” responses shown, but are very clearly stated and well-chosen.

Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

This “Skillful” response uses the conventions of letter writing to present a persuasive argument. The shift halfway through, when the writer declares, “Wait! I have an idea; I could become invisible like you are too,” displays good control of rhetoric and a clear voice. Though the overall structure is slightly less controlled and developed than in responses rated “Excellent,” this response uses many elements of persuasion successfully.

Sufficient – Student Response
Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

This “Sufficient” response is clearly written, although occasionally the vocabulary is vague (“We have fun things like games and playgrounds and stuff like that”). Each sentence provides a good reason, but the sentences are only generally connected to each other, resulting in some repetition. Overall, the response is coherent and generally organized.

Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

The strongest element in this “Sufficient” response is organization: the writer uses a letter format, and begins and concludes with clear statements of purpose. The first sentence, a run-on sentence, is followed by controlled sentences that provide reasons why the friend should become visible. These reasons help place this response in the “Sufficient” category, since they provide practical and emotional support for the writer’s case.

Uneven – Student Response
Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

This “Uneven” response combines the structure of a letter with very uneven control over sentence boundaries. Though there are run-on sentences, the writer does display a sense of the logical flow of sentences. The writer gives several reasons why the friend should become visible, including the enticement of getting “good grades” and being a “teacher’s pet.” Overall, this is an uneven, developing response.

Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Uneven” response, the student does not provide many reasons and does not connect the reasons clearly. The control of sentence structure is fairly good, however. This student writes about why it is good to be “invisible,” but the paper was not penalized for that misinterpretation of the prompt. It is “uneven” because it offers limited support for its argument.

Insufficient – Student Response
Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Insufficient” response, the student provides a few good reasons to become visible (“I coud say that you are my cosein and you need some friends.”) But these good ideas are hampered by persistent difficulties with spelling and lack of development.

Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

This “Insufficient” response shows poor control of spelling and has some problems in grammar. These errors make the paper difficult to follow. The student does not really present an argument because he or she describes what it’s like to be invisible rather than trying to persuade the imaginary friend to become visible.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

This “Unsatisfactory” response rephrases the prompt and does not go beyond it to create an argument of the student’s own.

Open the envelope labeled K and take out the letter.Pretend this letter is from an imaginary friend that you have had since kindergarten. Read the letter. Think about what you could say that would help your friend decide to become visible.

On lined pages in your test booklet, write a letter to your imaginary friend. Convince your friend to become visible. In your letter, use details and examples.

Scorer Comments:

In this “Unsatisfactory” response, the student writes a single sentence which has a nice phrase (“visable power”) but as a whole is difficult to interpret.

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