Writing Test Samples: Grade 12 :Informative Writing



  1. Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

    Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

• Information is presented effectively and consistently supported with well-chosen details.
• Is focused and well organized, with a sustained controlling idea and effective use of transitions.
• Consistently exhibits variety in sentence structure and precision in word choice.
• Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation are few and do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

• Information is presented clearly and supported with pertinent details in much of the response.
• Is well organized, but may lack some transitions.
• Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and uses good word choice; occasionally, words may be used inaccurately.
• Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

• Information is presented clearly and supported with some pertinent details.
• Is generally organized, but has few or no transitions among parts.
• Sentence structure may be simple and unvaried; word choice is mostly accurate.
• Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:
• Information is presented clearly in parts; other parts are undeveloped or repetitive OR response is no more than a well-written beginning.
• Is organized in parts of the response; other parts are disjointed and/or lack transitions.
• Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; may exhibit some inaccurate word choices.
• Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:
• Provides information that is very undeveloped or list-like.
• Is disorganized or unfocused in much of the response OR the response is too brief to detect organization.
• Minimal control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; word choice may often be inaccurate.
• Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation interfere with understanding in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:
• Responds to prompt but may be incoherent OR provides very minimal information OR merely paraphrases the prompt.
• Exhibits little or no apparent organization.
• Minimal or no control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; word choice may be inaccurate in much or all of the response.
• Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation severely impede understanding across the response.

Excellent – Student Response

Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scorer Comments:

“Excellent” responses take a clear position and support it with well-chosen details across the response. The response is organized with strong transitions, and descriptive details are used consistently to support his or her views about people improving society. This student exhibited sentence variety and precise word choice throughout the response.

Skillful – Student Response

Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scorer Comments:

“Skillful” responses take a clear position and support it with well organized examples or reasons. This student develops this response by providing several reasons that support the position that people are materialistic. The student uses descriptive details and some good word choice, but some gaps in continuity exist between supportive examples.

Sufficient – Student Response

Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scorer Comments:

“Sufficient” responses take a clear position and support it with some solid reasons or examples. This response is generally organized, but lacks transitions throughout. The student developed this response by focusing primarily on the government’s responsibility to take care of the problems in society. The student does not demonstrate much variety in sentence structure and word choice is simple.

Uneven – Student Response

Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scorer Comments:

“Uneven” responses take a position and present some clear information, but are repetitive and undeveloped. This response suggests that people care more about material things, but support is brief and disjointed about improving society. This essay exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and has missing words, which can interfere with understanding.

Insufficient – Student Response

Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scorer Comments:

“Insufficient” responses take a position, but support is fragmented information and undeveloped. While this response suggested that people care more about material things, it is unclear, due to lack of focus and brevity, how the television contributes to this notion.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response

Many people in this country care more about the way they look and having a lot of nice things, like cars and clothes, than about the problems of society. They do not pay enough attention to problems such as crime, poverty, or unemployment.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay in which you explain your opinion.

Scorer Comments:

“Unsatisfactory” responses attempt to take a position, but the position is unclear or has little or no support. This response consists of a single complete statement, which does not demonstrate any apparent organization.



  1. A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Information is presented effectively and consistently supported with well-chosen details.
  • Information is focused and well organized, with a sustained controlling idea and effective use of transitions.
  • Response consistently exhibits variety in sentence structure and precision in word choice.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation are few and do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Information is presented clearly and supported with pertinent details in much of the response.
  • Response is well organized, but may lack some transitions.
  • Response exhibits some variety in sentence structure and uses good word choice; occasionally, words may be used inaccurately.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Information is presented clearly and supported with some pertinent details.
  • Information is generally organized, but has few or no transitions among parts.
  • Sentence structure may be simple and unvaried; word choice is mostly accurate.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Information is presented clearly in parts; other parts are undeveloped or repetitive OR is no more than a well-written beginning.
  • Organized in parts of the response; other parts are disjointed and/or lack transitions.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; may exhibit some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Provides information that is very undeveloped or list-like.
  • Much of the response is disorganized or unfocused, OR the response is too brief to detect organization.
  • Author has minimal control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; word choice may often be inaccurate.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation interfere with understanding in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

May be characterized by one or more of the following:

  • Responds to prompt but may be incoherent OR provides very minimal information OR merely paraphrases the prompt.
  • Little or no apparent organization.
  • Minimal or no control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; word choice may be inaccurate in much or all of the response.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scorer Comments:

“Excellent” responses were well developed throughout with sentence variety and good word choice. The “Excellent” response shown below, about Herman Hesse’s Demian, is well developed and has strong transitions. Well-chosen details and precise word choices support a sustained controlling idea: that teens can learn from the main character’s coming of age.

Skillful – Student Response
A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scorer Comments:

“Skillful” responses often included extensive information and were well organized but had occasional lapses. The sample response shown below about The Joy Luck Club develops a focused discussion using many pertinent details about the book. The few errors do not interfere with understanding; however, occasionally awkward sentence structure and a bit of repetition about the importance of experience weaken the response.

Sufficient – Student Response
A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scorer Comments:

“Sufficient” responses presented clear information and supported it with some pertinent details; transitions were often lacking. The response below offers some details about The Odyssey but lacks development and is missing several transitions. Occasional errors do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven – Student Response
A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scorer Comments:

“Uneven” responses often presented quite limited information about books chosen for discussion. The response below presents a very brief description and a series of abstractions about To Kill a Mockingbird‘s importance without supportive detail. Some statements seem unrelated, making the response disjointed.

Insufficient – Student Response
A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scorer Comments:

“Insufficient” responses attempted to describe books worth saving but were underdeveloped, disorganized, or had severe errors in sentence control or grammar. The “Insufficient” response below is very underdeveloped.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
A novel written in the 1950’s describes a world where people are not allowed to read books. A small group of people who want to save books memorize them, so that the books won’t be forgotten. For example, an old man who has memorized the novel The Call of the Wild helps a young boy memorize it by reciting the story to him. In this way, the book is saved for the future. If you were told that you could save just one book for future generations, which book would you choose? Write an essay in which you discuss which book you would choose to save for future generations and what it is about the book that makes it important to save. Be sure to discuss in detail why the book is important to you and why it would be important to future generations.

Scorer Comments:

“Unsatisfactory” responses, as evidenced in the response below, responded to the prompt but provided little or no coherent information.



  1. Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

    As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scoring Guide

Score & Description

Excellent

  • Information is presented effectively and consistently supported with well-chosen details.
  • Is focused and well organized, with a sustained controlling idea and effective use of transitions.
  • Consistently exhibits variety in sentence structure and precision in word choice.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation are few and do not interfere with understanding.

Skillful

  • Information is presented clearly and supported with pertinent details in much of the response.
  • Is well organized, but may lack some transitions.
  • Exhibits some variety in sentence structure and uses good word choice; occasionally, words may be used inaccurately.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation do not interfere with understanding.

Sufficient

  • Information is presented clearly and supported with some pertinent details.
  • Is generally organized, but has few or no transitions among parts.
  • Sentence structure may be simple and unvaried; word choice is mostly accurate.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation do not interfere with understanding.

Uneven

(may be characterized by one or more of the following:)

  • Information is presented clearly in parts; other parts are undeveloped or repetitive OR response is no more than a well-written beginning.
  • Is organized in parts of the response; other parts are disjointed and/or lack transitions.
  • Exhibits uneven control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; may exhibit some inaccurate word choices.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation sometimes interfere with understanding.

Insufficient

(may be characterized by one or more of the following:)

  • Provides information that is very undeveloped or list-like.
  • Is disorganized or unfocused in much of the response OR the response is too brief to detect organization.
  • Minimal control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; word choice may often be inaccurate.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation interfere with understanding in much of the response.

Unsatisfactory

(may be characterized by one or more of the following:)

  • Responds to prompt, but may be incoherent OR provides very minimal information OR merely paraphrases the prompt.
  • Exhibits little or no apparent organization.
  • Minimal or no control over sentence boundaries and sentence structure; word choice may be inaccurate in much or all of the response.
  • Errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation severely impede understanding across the response.
Excellent – Student Response
Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

The response shown was rated “Excellent.” It is consistently developed and very well organized. The student uses transitions (“First” “The most important element” “When writing”) that clearly signal his or her main points. The student uses varied and sophisticated sentence structure, and consistently exhibits good word choice: “Big words and complex grammatical constructs are not necessary for good writing, and can even hinder your clarity.” The student uses a friendly, reassuring tone that is especially appropriate to the task of writing to a younger student.

Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This “Excellent” response has a clear, natural voice, as the writer says in the first paragraph “I really enjoy writing, and I hope I can convince you to love it also.” Clearly this writer is in control of the assignment. The essay has clear transitions between ideas and uses sophisticated diction and syntax. “High school writing assignments will (and probably already have) given you the opportunity to hone those skills, which are essential,” declares the writer.

Skillful – Student Response
Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This response was rated “Skillful.” The student often uses pertinent details to make a point: “This doesn’t mean your work must be humorous or adventurous. It simply means you have to keep the readers’ attention.” Though the paragraphs do not flow smoothly one to the other, the logical order of this response overall makes it cohesive. The student provides sentence variety and makes accurate word choices and few errors.

Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This “Skillful” response competently lists the steps the writer feels are essential for successful writing. The syntax in this essay is less varied than in many skillful responses, but the writer clearly organizes ideas and develops them. The writer’s voice comes through by the end of the essay (“remember that the little things such as grammar and spelling are very important”; “I am sure that if you follow my advice you will go on to be a sucessful writer not only in your High School years but for the rest of your remaining ones.”). This is a competent response in its development, organization, and use of language.

Sufficient – Student Response
Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

The response shown was rated “Sufficient.” This student provides a relatively brief but clear and focused response to the topic. The student offers a few details (“Remember to indent when starting paragraphs and use proper punctuation”). He or she generally organizes his or her points, although some points are not connected. This response has little sentence variety but few errors.

Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This “Sufficient” response conveys the writer’s enthusiasm by using effusive description: “To be a great writer … make them feel the pain, the happiness and the tough times.” The organization of this essay is not strong, as the writer begins and ends with the same advice: to use “lots of descriptive adjectives.” Still, the writer responds to the prompt with sentences that are somewhat varied syntactically, and clearly presents a particular perspective on writing.

Uneven – Student Response
Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This response typifies the “Uneven” category: the syntax is good for the most part, but the treatment of the topic is thin and undeveloped. The only advice this writer gives is “not to write to small.” Except for the repeated spelling error of “to” for “too,” this paper displays control of grammar; it does not, however, develop in any fashion. The same point is simply repeated several times. This combination of sound sentence control and very undeveloped ideas add up to a response in the “uneven” category.

Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

The response shown was rated “Uneven.” This response is fairly repetitive: “Advice that has been given to me is to think about your topic and make an outline. In your outline think ideas about your topic topic and then organize your ideas.” The student’s writing is unclear in parts. The response also shows some lack of control over sentence structure and contains awkward constructions.

Insufficient – Student Response
Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This “Insufficient” response is undeveloped. It does contain a few good pieces of advice: to “do a lot of research” and to put things into one’s own words. Pervasive problems with sentence structure and sentence boundaries kept this paper in the “insufficient” category.

Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

In the “Insufficient” response shown, the student provides information that is undeveloped and list-like. The response is too general, unfocused, and repetitive to offer organized information on writing tips.

Unsatisfactory – Student Response
Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This response was rated “Unsatisfactory.” Although this response does attempt to offer writing advice, the information offered is minimal, and the writing is garbled and confusing. The response has no sentence boundaries, is missing words, and contains many inaccurate word choices.

Your school has a program in which a twelfth grader acts as a mentor for a tenth grader at the beginning of each school year. The mentor’s job is to help the tenth grader have a successful experience at your school. The tenth grader you are working with is worried about being able to write well enough for high school classes.Write a letter to your tenth grader explaining what kind of writing is expected in high school classes and what the student can do to be a successful writer in high school.

As you plan your response, think about your own writing experiences. How would you describe “good” writing? What advice about writing has been helpful to you? What writing techniques do you use?

Scorer Comments:

This response was rated “Unsatisfactory” because, although coherent, it does not offer any specific advice about writing, only advising the younger student to “work hard and pay attention.”